Weight Wednesday | Week Three

So this week has been tough! If you read my meditation Monday you will know that I’ve recently been for an interview and got rejected. With that in mind this week has been a nightmare for me. Ive bought healthy food, I’ve done meal plans I started off really great but then I keep going back to binging. Im going to try to be as honest as I can about my eating disorder in this post, but it is very hard for me.

If any of you guys out there have a binging eating disorder you know how tough it really can be. Ive been sat here trying to be positive and eat healthier but then the next moment ill be full on eating a whole bar of chocolate or 2 bags of crisps. All week since being rejected I’ve been binge eating, multiple times throughout the day. I feel great as I’m eating it all but then after I feel guilty because I know I’m going to have put on weight because of it. At one point in the week I decided to weight myself and I had gone up to 25 stone. At that moment my heart just sank and I felt awful. After weighing myself I said to myself today I’m not going to eat anything. Even though I hear all these stories about people starving themselves and I think how awful it is and that I would never do it, me saying to myself that I wasn’t going to eat that day didn’t faze me I didn’t think oh thats a terrible thing or anything. I just thought about how much weight I had put on and what I needed to do to get it down. Throughout that day I lasted till 4pm and got so hungry that I binged because I had starved myself. But that time I didn’t feel guilty about it because I had starved myself half the day to make it better. Which to anyone reading this, is 100% not the way!

So to say the least I have had a terrible week eating, I feel like thats what these blog posts have become and I hate it, but I feel like I should still put something out so that people can realise its ok and the first part is though and some people just really struggle. Thats why I keep posting these just in case I’m helping someone, and its also really good for me to just write about it and not keep it bottled up. I haven’t even told my partner that I tried to starve myself, I know he would go crazy especially because I’m going through treatment for my vitamin deficiency.

Ive been out walking once this week, I know its not a lot but it was great, it made me feel great and I loved being outside but I just couldn’t bring myself to exercise again. I follow this girl on instergram her instergram name is @mollypardee I think she’s from America but I’m not 100% sure on that so don’t quote me! She posts videos and pictures all the time of her exercising and doing yoga, she always seems very active and happy in life. I’m always so jealous that I’m not like that, and then I realise I can be like that. I can get up and exercise and do yoga and get loads of energy and feel fit, I just don’t have the go for it all. I don’t get up in the morning raring to go with it and I don’t know what I could do to get past that feeling. I would love to know how people get that feeling that they are going to change there body. Even though I do really badly want to.

Its official I need help.

Heres my current weight loss chart!

Starting Weight: 24 Stone 12.5 Pounds

Current Weight : 24 Stone 12 Pounds

How Much Weight Loss This Week : 0.5 Pounds

Total Weight Loss : 0.5 Pounds

Much Love

Amy

xxx

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Meditation Monday | Week Three

Ill be honest, this week as been a really tough one. I had a job interview on Friday and for the two days before that I was basically studying the company and really working on my answers for some of the questions they might of asked. It ended up that I didn’t get it. I was ok about it but then it hit me that I wasn’t ok about it and I’ve basically been down ever since.

Before the job interview I was really happy and really focusing on my future and what I wanted, I had started drawing this week and I love it! I feel like I’m actually quite good at it, to other artists of course mine would be absolute rubbish but to me I really love the little drawings I have done, there unique to me and its what I want to put down on paper .I felt so calm while I was doing it. This week I went out and bought just some plain paper so I could do it some more so I can’t wait to do that more next week.

But then this interview happened. I was so stressed before even going to it that I wasn’t even going to go, I didn’t eat all morning and I was just pure stress! I tried meditating but that really didn’t help as I felt like I was waisting time even though I knew if I had tried hard enough I would of been a lot more calmer.

 Ive felt for a couple of weeks my mood getting lower and obviously not getting the job because they didn’t think I was good enough really didn’t help with bringing me up. So all weekend I’ve been trying to focus on getting better and getting on with finding a job and being calm about it. Ive been having baths and spending time relaxing, I’ve also started reading again which is so nice being in the bath and reading I can really zone out.

Its Monday now and its after the weekend and Ive hated being alone today, I went out on a walk with the dogs and that was good (apart from I forgot how cold it was) that really helped me calm down and spent some time on myself. I also spent the day just drawing and writing blogs for future posts and its helped me to calm down more, I just need to really focus on myself and my mood on life at the moment which is what I’m really going to focus even more on next week as I feel like my depression is coming back which I really don’t want!

I know this quite a short post this week but I haven’t had a very positive week and I don’t want to go too much into that I just wanted to share how my love for drawing is growing!

What do you do to relax yourself when your stressed? How do you focus your mind on whats important?

Heres to another week of trying to relax and keep calm!

Much Love

Amy

xxx

Glossybox | January 2018

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Its another year and Its still another Glossybox! Im always so excited to open these I can never hold in my excitement, I know that I always get my moneys worth with glossy box as they always fill it with goodies! Heres my reviews of the products that were in this months box!


Boots Beauty Beneath Supplements | RRP £39.99

Unfortunately I can’t review these as I haven’t been able to use these! There not suitable for vegetarians and they also have vitamins in which I’m already on tablets for. They actually say that they are suitable for pescatarians but after I looked on the back of packet they contain beef gelatine but they have actually sent out an email stating this to everybody so make sure your aware if you are a vegetarian! I am sorry that I’m unable to review these for you guys though!


Apicia Cream Blush | £22.00

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This has been one of the best blushes I have tried! This blush is a really nice pink and it works really well with my skin tone. Its a great blush to build so if you want a subtle look its possible or if you want a more darker blush you can also have it with this. It smoothes onto the skin really well and easy it doesn’t take a lot and its very long lasting. Its quite expensive for the size it is but I also do like the size. I probably wouldn’t buy this product just because of the price if it was cheaper I would probably buy it. Im also not sure wether its cruelty free… It contains Bee Pollen and doesn’t say anywhere if its cruelty free but it does say that it is 99.7% from natural sources, I might be dumb and not know wether that means it is or not but I looked online and haven’t been able to find out sadly.


Evelyn Jona Cosmetics Green Tea Primer | RRP £22.00

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I love this primer! It smoothes over the face really well and you really do have to use a tiny amount, It really helped with my pores as normally they can show through my makeup but with this primer it helped so much. I feel like it also helped with my redness on my face, it might of been because my makeup applied better. Its the winter so I also struggle with dry skin on my face and no matter how much I scrub my skin when I apply makeup it always comes back and with this primer it stayed at bay! So I didn’t get horrible flaky skin after I put on my makeup. I feel like the tube is half full, I’m not sure wether its just me or if it actually is though. The price is quite expensive for the size the same as the blush because this is a full size product again. I wouldn’t buy it just because of the price the same as the blush but if it was cheaper I would. Its also cruelty free which is great!


Nail Medic Nail and Cuticle Energizer |RRP £5.99

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This couldn’t of come at a better time! Ive recently grew my nails out and they’ve just started getting really brittle and breaking so I really needed a nail strengthener! This one worked wonders, I had only used it ones and there was already an improvement in how my nails were! Its just a nail on so you literally just put it on and wait for it to dry or you can rub it in, which I just let it dry on. Its a full size product and it was a decent size. For the price that it is and how well its helped my nails I would definitely buy it again and I would definitely recommend.


Dr Botanicals Moroccan Rose Superfood Facial Oil | RRP £55.00

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This was the first time I have ever used a facial oil on my face because I have probably the worlds most oiliest face. This time when I received it I decided to just give it a try because it says it would help with skin complexion and I hate my red patches on my face so thought I would just risk it! Its helped with the redness on my face so that was a massive plus also I had a few spots under the skin and they were so painful and they were gone after one application. I feel like it make my skin a little oily but that was expected as I already have oily skin. It also smells amazing! Im not sure wether it was this or something else in the box but it made the whole box smell amazing. This is so expensive so I really wouldn’t be able to afford it as its £55.00 for a full size bottle, so I will just make this small bottle last longer than it should, but it is a really good size as a travel size.


I thought this was a really good box, it seemed a lot of cruelty free brands which is amazing. I hope they include more clearly cruelty free products. I know they have special vegan boxes that I could get but its more of every should use more cruelty free products!

You can get Glossybox for £10.00 + P&P each month and I couldn’t recommend it enough!

I also have a coupon code you can use to get 20% off your first box!

My coupon code to get 20% off is :  AMY-RFN

Much Love

Amy

xxx

 

Weight Wednesday | Week Two

Well I’ve managed to keep the weight loss blogs for two weeks in a row so maybe this is a thing now!

This week I did get enough courage to weight myself, It was a big step after the new year just because of how much I had ate but I did it! It wasn’t too much of a shock as on Christmas Day I weighed myself I was 25 stone 4 pounds, which it was the evening of Christmas so that was never going to do me any favours! But when I weighed myself this week I was 24 stone 12.5 pounds. I know it could of been better as I did loose those 6 pounds before Christmas but thinking about it now I could of been that extra weight up so loosing that weight before Christmas I think really helped me. Having the weight gain over Christmas has really made me realise you could use the excuse of ‘oh its Christmas or its my birthday theres no point in loosing weight” but now I would of been an extra 12 pounds that what I am up now so it really helped me!

I have exercised a little, not too much as I don’t want to go too hard and then end up hurting myself but on the weekend me and my partner did go out for a walk, it wasn’t a short walk so it really took it out of me! I did feel way better after an hour of getting back home though as I felt like I had more energy so that was great. We recently bought a little bike thing that you can use when you sit down so I have used that a couple of times too. I’m not sure wether it really does anything massively as its not really getting my heart rate up but it is getting me more moving that what I have been. So exercise hasn’t been too bad! I know I could get a lot better so I will hopefully get better next week!

Food wise hasn’t been too bad, I have had a few binge eating moments which I’m really trying to control, instead of eating bad things while I binge I’m trying to eat healthy things like cucumber or an apple so that I am still sorting out my binge eating problem its just being more controlled with eating healthier foods when I do it. I have had chocolate over the weekend and fizzy drinks which I know is terrible but I did cut that out after the weekend was over . Ive bought a big bottle of water to help me see how much I actually drink everyday and to help encourage me to drink more water. After seeing how much I actually drink everyday its a no wonder I feel rubbish! I basically only drink a mouthful everyday so I’m really trying to improve on that as I know that does help with Weight loss!

Here is my current weight loss chart!

Starting Weight : 24 Stone 12.5 Pounds

Current Weight : 24 Stone 12.5 Pounds

How Much Weight Loss This Week : 0

Total Weight Loss: 0

So this week I didn’t gain and I didn’t loose which its bad that I didn’t loose but at least I haven’t gained!

How has your week been? Are you on a Weight loss journey? Do you have any tips for me? Leave your comments below!

Much Love

Amy

xxx

Meditation Monday | Week Two

This week I took time to think about quotes that I love, and how they make me feel about life so this Meditation Monday I decided I would write about some of those quotes!

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This quote has always stuck with me throughout my teenager life. This is a quote by John Lennon. Some days when I was growing up I would spend them not really doing much, maybe going online and that and at the end of the day I would always get sad thinking that I had waisted a whole day of my life not doing anything. But then I did enjoy the time that I had spent that day. After seeing and reading this quote half way through my teenage years it really made me think. If I enjoyed the time then why should I feel bad because I hadn’t done much that day! I enjoyed that time so its not wasted and this quote has always been in my mind since the first day I read it.

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I always wonder when I meet new people what they thought about me, so this quote really fits with how I feel. I never want to meet someone and come across as a horrible or miserable person and I never want to meet someone like that either. So thinking of this quote when I meet someone helps me to remember even if I’m having a bad day , just be a positive person as I could be the positive impact that person needed on that day to make themselves feel better.

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I love this quote. When I was growing up in my teenage years I always wanted to be a SPX makeup artist, and I always doubted myself, but one day I looked it up online and looked to see if making that dream possible, and it was. I applied for the makeup course and I’m currently in the process of doing it. I have taken a few years to do it, but reading this quote makes me realise, it was me doubting myself that was stopping one on my dreams becoming a reality. It wasn’t anything else but just me. Dreams can always become a reality you just need to strive to make them a reality.

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Im not sure wether you would count this as a quote but every time I see this I always smile. To be there is no reason why people shouldn’t be kind. Why should you not throw kindness around and make everyone else happier. If your nice to someone one day you could be what that person needs. It could be the realisation for someone else to realise they should throw kindness around. I know a lot of things have happened and are happening in the world right now but why should everyone be unhappy and give them what they want. Why should kindness not be thrown around!

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Ive been doing this blog for a year now and I feel like part of me has just expected for this blog to just blow up more and have more of a bigger family on here, but I’ve realised I haven’t worked my but off to get it. I have to post more so more people see what I’m writing about. I always kind of wait around for things to happen instead of working harder to get what I would like in life. Its the same for my SPX makeup course, part of me expected to just be given a qualification, I have to work towards it not just be given it.

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Ive done a few stupid things in my teenage life and I’m guessing a lot of people have, and part of me has always regretted somethings. Its the same as things that happen today and recently. I have a plaque of this up on the side because when I seen this quote I loved it. It really makes me realise that I need to learn about things, that is what life Is about you learn things and you move on to the next thing that you learn about. All that I’ve been through has always been an experience.

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I always think about my past and how depressed I used to be and what I nightmare I was for my parents. This quote makes me think that I really need to not do that. Ive worked hard to be where I am today when it comes to my mental health. I have a lot more stability than what I did back then. So looking back now and thinking about back then isn’t going to help me in moving forward, its just meaning that I’m looking behind me all the time which I’m not going that way anymore. Im going forward.

These were a few of my favourite quotes, this week they have really been on my mind while I’m working towards what I’m going to be doing this year.

Have you got any quotes you love? Is there a quote that you live by daily? Are any of these quotes new to you today? Let me know in the comments!

Much Love

Amy

xxx

 

What I Learnt In 2017

This year as been such a whirlwind for me! Ive gone through so much and I’ve also done so much! Ive moved away from home, Got Engaged, I got out of a job that made me very unhappy sometimes, I’ve also had a lot of stress but 2017 but it has been one year that I have learnt so much!

Growing Up Happens Quickly

Even though I felt like I’ve been grown up for years it was this year that I really felt the most grown up, obviously I moved away from home this year so that was a massive step in my life. I left the job that I had for 3 years and made the move. That was so scary but it made me realise that I really had to grow up and make some big decisions in my life without the help of my parents.

Don’t sign anything without thinking about it or reading it. 

This year I signed up for an agency, during signing all the paperwork I agreed to sign a paper saying that if any damages happened, I would pay for them. I had a car accident and ended up damaging two cars. This also led to me signing another piece of paper that had the description of the damages on and the paper meant that I agreed that it was me. At the time it was dark and I didn’t fully see what the damages was, so basically I signed something without even looking at the damages. After looking back I really should of took the time out and said hang on let me process it but I didn’t and ended up really messing myself up. When signing things you really need to read it all through, think about it and make sure your not screwing yourself over. I now always ask what I’m signing.

You have to make Decisions by yourself sometimes.

Normally all throughout my life I’ve always asked people what I should do, and they’ve always told me and Ive always gone with there opinion. Recently while moving away from home and moving into a different family I’ve realised that no everyone is going to make decisions for you. Sometimes you really have to grow up and make some decisions for yourself. Thats been quite hard for me as I think that was my way of trying not to handle to consequences of what ever decision I had made. It does make life harder sometimes but at the same time makes me feel stronger every choice.

You don’t always need medication to get better. 

Ive suffered with depression most of my teenage and young adult life. After moving down to Bristol and suffering with it more I realised that I didn’t have to go on medication to make myself better. At the end of the day I don’t think depression ever goes away and I think you have to learn to live with it, which is what I have done. I no longer think I’m feeling bad I need to go back on medication, I think I’m not feeling too great so lets spend some time on self care and make myself feel better. Im not saying that you don’t need medication for depression, I think you need medication when you have got to the lowest low, and when your ready to try life again without that help I think its easy to learn what makes you feel better in yourself.

Letting go of grudges Is good for you.

I have had a friend that I hadn’t talked too in probably over 2 years, and this year I decided that I wanted to talk to them again. The reason why I held a grudge over them was because of them not coming to a concert with me a few years ago, at the time I thought that they had lied about it and messed me about and they might have, I will never know because Ive just let go of it. After moving away from home this year and getting engaged I realised that was being stupid holding a grudge on someone over something so silly when they had been such a good friend to me at some point. I really felt like I was missing something with them and felt like I was being stupid about it. So this year I reached out to an old friend and forgave them. It was one of the best ways to end 2017 I think. Sometimes (not all the time ) you really do need to let go of grudges and move on, if not you miss out on that person being in your life.

Ive really loved 2017 , I feel like it had really made me grow up and move on from my past that I have held onto for so long. Ive learnt and grew so much. It was hard as somethings were stressful. I really do feel like 2018 will be a really good year!

What has been your highlights of 2017? Do you feel like you grew up and learnt lessons in 2017? Let me know in the comments!

Much Love

Amy

xxx

Weight Wednesday | Week One

Last year I was terrible at weight Wednesdays. This year it is one of my main focuses that this will work, and I will get healthier this year. I have organised my blog a lot more for this year so that its so much more organised and I won’t be behind with weighing in and writing up a post!

So heres to another year and really giving this ago!

This week has been though! Its just after Christmas and all the food is still around! Lets not forget New Years as well. I feel like if you loose weight over Christmas and New Years you really are a pro! There is so much good food and chocolate around the temptation is just so bad, I really did enjoy my Christmas and New Years though, food and company was great but it just didn’t help me at all when It came to weight loss.

I kept going to bed on a massively full stomach so bad that I would nearly be sick, It was really hard trying to get back into the routine of not eating chocolate through out the day and not snacking on cheese and biscuits.

Exercise was out of the question! Ive recently been diagnosed with a Vitamin D Deficiency so my body hasn’t been feeling the best, I really do want to start exercising nearly daily, even if it means just going out on a 10 min walk everyday. I would love to try out different exercise DVDS, I love divines and I think I need to invest in some more of those as I find them really fun.

I haven’t weighed myself this week just because I feel like it would really effect my mental health with seeing how much I put on. Before Christmas I did loose 6 pounds and I was going really well but then Christmas chocolate got the better of me. I was so proud of myself and I even started to feel better. I might find it in myself to weigh myself next week, I just need to bring myself to just do it.

I really hope you guys enjoyed your Christmas and New Year! Did you have a pig out at Christmas? How good was your Christmas? Let me know in the comments below.

Much Love

Amy

xxx

Meditation Monday | Week One

So this week was the last week of 2017 and it really made me reflect on what I’ve accomplished this year.

I climbed my first mountain, I’ve moved away from home, I got engaged and I started this blog! This past year has been very eventful! Ive also made big improvements when it comes to my mental health. Ive started to realise when I’m started to get down or I realise if I’m having a bad day and I do something about it, so that I work towards having a more healthy stable mind.

I won’t lie this week was a stressful one with Christmas and all so keeping my calm was on the last of my list.

This week I sat down and made a big plan of what I want to happen for this blog next year, it might change half way through the year but I really enjoyed sitting down and planning instead of waiting a few weeks and thinking crap! I haven’t wrote a blog in forever! As I’ve said in a post for meditation Mondays before I enjoy blogging and I find it so relaxing so it would make sense that I would make a plan for the next year for myself so I can really focus on it more as a hobby. Also not stress out and try and think up content last minute. I really can’t wait for the plans I have for this year!

What I also found relaxing this week was painting my nails, I grew them out so long ages ago and I loved it, I painted my nails every week and really felt like I took care of them. I started biting them off again at some point and they were horrible! They were sore and all broken off so towards the start of December I really stopped myself from biting them again and Ive found that I really enjoy painting my nails. Just sitting there and painting them having them a lovely colour is so nice! It also means I have to sit there for a while for them to dry so I can just sit back and relax!

This past month I’ve also got back in touch with an old friend. We fell out over something stupid and all of last month I’ve been thinking about getting back in touch with her. Something inside me was stopping me from doing it though because I was thinking about what other people was going to say but in the end I mentioned it to my partner and family and they just said if its something you want to do and something you’ve thought about just do it. After getting back In touch with her I feel like a missing piece is there now and I don’t have to worry about it, Im also not wracking my brain over thinking about it and just did it. It has made me feel so much better not having that in my mind wondering if I’m doing the right thing or not!

This past week my mind as been so driven. I really love it, I feel like 2018 is really going to be my year that I make it and really settle in life, I feel like everything I want to do is all planned out and ready to go and I’m just waiting for the chime on New Years night for it to start rolling and I’m so excited. I think this is the first year that at the start of it I’m super excited for things to come. I really feel like I’m ready for what ever is going to be thrown my way now which I haven’t felt like for the past few months.

Im really hoping to plan meditating into my daily routine again, I really miss it and really felt the benefits from it so I can’t wait to start training my mind again.

What has relaxed you this week? Are you looking to start meditating in 2018? Have you got an old friend you don’t know about getting in contact with? Did you enjoy Christmas time? Let me know in the comments below.

Much Love

Amy

xxx

My New Years Resolutions and Goals

Even though 2017 was great I want to make 2018 the best one yet!

Here are some of my New Years resolutions and Goals that I want to share with you guys and maybe inspire you to do that same for some of them!

Firstly I want to find a job that I love and want to stay in. I quit my job back in September due to reasons you will find out in a blog later on and since then I’ve been on the hunt for a job that I feel like I would love. Me and my partner are saving up to buy a house and I would love to be in a job I love so we can really settle in with life together. I have always been in a job I haven’t really been 100% on and thats a goal I’ve wanted for a long time, I want a job I don’t feel stressed in and one that I really feel comfortable in.

I want to finish my SPX Makeup course. I payed for this online course over a year ago now and I’ve been wanting to finish It for a long time. I would love a job in SPX but I know there very difficult to come by so just having that qualification would be great for me as its something I’ve always been so interested and invested in that I would love to work more towards getting that finished.

I want to meet up with friends more. After moving down to Bristol I’ve really lost contact with some friends I always used to be around. Ive recently got in contact with and old friend and I really want to meet up with them more. Its really different meeting up with a friend and being away from family and your partner, Even though I love them all dearly sometimes you just want a change of scenery and a different type of conversation.  I know its longer for me to travel but I feel like it would really help with my mental health and the way that I feel about life, so I would really feel like I’m making the most out of my life with making more memories.

I want to feel more better about my health and have more of a positive life with my health. I do have life issues when it comes to my weight, I can’t play around with the kids for long because I end up half dead, I struggle to move around in bed, I feel tired just by going out for a couple of hours. This year I really want to feel healthier and be healthier. Im sick and tired of struggling day to day and thats why I really want to work harder on myself to make life better and longer for myself.

I really want to create and plan and stick to it with blogging. I always make a plan that I would love to do each week/month when it comes to blogging and I always give up because think its so stressful when really I’m just not using my time to its most use. I love blogging and I love just sitting here and writing so why shouldn’t I do it more?! Ive nearly been blogging on here for about a year now and I could of had so many more posts and a bigger online family if I wasn’t so lazy!

I would love to read more books, In 2017 I really got into reading books and I loved it. I stopped reading them because I found that I didn’t have time and I went on my phone instead. This year I really want to put my phone down and pick up a book more. I always find that I don’t get angry and stressed as often so somehow I think it really helps me calm down and relax more. I also have loads of books to get through and read!

I would love to know what your New Years resolutions are! Let me know in the comments below or link me to your own blog!

Much Love and heres to another really good year!

Amy

xx

Finding out I Don’t have Cancer.

I wasn’t sure on wether or not to make this blog, but I have a lot of things I want to say and I feel like some of what I have to say might help people!

About a year ago I found a lump in my breast. It was the day before my 21st Birthday and I was devastated. My first thought that went through my head is that I didn’t want some stranger feeling my boobs. Thinking back thats one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever thought! It was a stupid excuse that I kept on too for the past year. Until about a month ago when I really realised how serious it was. I had left it for a year and It never changed in size and that but I had gained more of these lumps more around my boob. Thats when I started to worry more . I decided that I needed to grow up and actually go to the doctor about it. My Nan had cancer twice so it was quite a big deal to leave it as Im at more of a risk. I phoned up the doctors and made an appointment which was in two weeks, and those were the most difficult two weeks.

I went to the doctor on my own, I was so worried and freaked out before I went in, I haven’t gotten my boobs out in front of anyone in years only my partner. So this was a massive deal for me. I got in there and the doctor ” had a feel”. The doctor explained to me that she didn’t think that it would be cancer just because of me having them for over a year so that was when I was less panicked! But she did refer me to a breast clinic to have a proper scan.

The scan was within a week and luckily my family managed to get time off to come with me. This was the appointment that would be the most important. I got to the hospital and got my boobs out again for someone else. They gave me a proper scan over and took pictures etc, and she told me that it wasn’t cancer. I got outside the hospital and me and my mum just started crying. Ill be honest part of me was relived and then part of my felt like it was and that she hadn’t done enough tests on it and that but after talking multiple times with my mum she reassured me that the doctor wouldn’t of sent me off if she had thought It was something more. After that I couldn’t stop smiling and it was one of the best moments of my life.

All the time within being tested and being told was one of the most difficult time of my life. When theres this possibility that you could have something so awful everything was going through my head, like was this going to be my last Christmas or who would my partner end up having kids with and all things like that. Luckily I didn’t have to Carry on thinking that, even though the help and medication that you get now would probably mean that I wouldn’t of died, those thoughts still go through your mind. I cant even imagine what it would be like for the people that end up having cancer.

I will say I don’t think its out there enough of how to feel your breasts, your never taught how to feel your boobs, or never told what is normal and not normal, I’ve found most things out from online which if some younger adults or actual adults don’t have access to the internet, I don’t think it would be easy to find this information. I really do think information should be more accessible.

I am one lucky person

Much Love

Amy

xxx